Marriage in Heaven
I have no idea if there is marriage in heaven. A long time ago, as a protestant, I believed I would be with loved ones. Later, as a Mormon, I believed only those who had been sealed in the temple would have that privilege. Now, I’m just trying to find answers in scriptures.
Recognizable in the Afterlife
The scriptures indicate that we recognize people in the next life.
From my perspective at this point, I prefer not to trust anyone to definitively interpret scripture for me, not an LDS prophet or a trustworthy pastor, but I use other sources on the road to gaining insights. Here’s what gotquestions.org says:
“At the transfiguration of Christ, Moses and Elijah made an appearance, and they were recognizable (Matthew 17:3–4). Though they had departed this world centuries prior, both Moses and Elijah remained distinct persons who had not lost their identity. In Luke 16:19–31, Abraham, Lazarus, and the rich man are all recognizable after death. King Saul recognized Samuel’s description given by the witch of Endor when she summoned Samuel from the realm of the dead (1 Samuel 28:8–17). And, when David’s young son died, David declared, “I will go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Samuel 12:23). David’s words imply that he believed he would recognize his son in heaven. In all these examples, the Bible seems to indicate that, after death, we will still be recognizable to each other.”
Same Gender in the Afterlife
It seems we also keep our gender. The Savior returned, resurrected in his same form as a man. When Moses and Elias appeared at the Savior’s transfiguration, they were recognized as men. Nothing in scripture tells us otherwise.
Marriage in the Afterlife
The answer to “Will there be marriage in heaven?” on gotquestions.org is no. Here’s part of their explanation:
“The fact that there will be no marriage in heaven does not mean that a husband and wife will no longer know each other in heaven. It also does not mean that a husband and wife could not still have a close relationship in heaven. What it does seem to indicate, though, is that a husband and wife will no longer be married in heaven. Marriage is an earthly bond, and it is broken by physical death (see Romans 7:2 and 1 Timothy 5:14).”
They rely heavily on Matthew 22:23-33, which is the only scripture I know of that directly addresses the question. Their explanation is straightforward: Jesus said no. On the other hand, the Church has taught that these verses weren’t interpreted correctly, that Jesus sidesteps the issue, and that modern prophets outweigh whatever is in scripture anyway.
Another Perspective on Matthew 22
My son-in-law had an interesting take on these verses in Matthew 22. Here’s what he shared.
Christ is telling us that there is marriage in Heaven and that couples still are married after death. He simply explains that no marry-ing during the Resurrection will happen.
23 “The same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to Him and asked Him,”
“There is no resurrection” is a very important observation added to clue in the reader.
24 “saying: “Teacher, Moses said that if a man dies, having no children, his brother shall marry his wife and raise up offspring for his brother.”
25 “Now there were with us seven brothers. The first died after he had married, and having no offspring, left his wife to his brother.”
The first problem: objectifying women. This makes the wife sound like a possession; lumped in with the silverware and the cattle.
The second problem: “Moses said this.” A man—not God. Ironically, they are speaking with the God, Jesus, face to face.
The third problem: this contradicts another teaching from the Bible: Thou shall not commit adultery. No sex with any but your wife. Cleave unto her, only. So Moses tells brothers to take and have sex with their brother’s wife? Did he specify if the surviving brother is married, too? The adultery commandment was for men and women. So if the brother is married, what about this poor widow? Now she has to be an adulterer? Hmmm, sorry Moses this Levirite marriage custom doesn’t add up.
26 “Likewise the second also, and the third, even to the seventh.”
So did the second brother, and the third, and the fourth, and fifth, and sixth, and seventh brother. Each brother took a turn with brother 1’s wife.
// Sounds eerily similar to a gang rape, just spread over a decade or two.
// And since the woman bore no children to any of the brothers, none of them could claim her.
// I wonder if this was a sick fantasy for these perverts: “hey brother, when I’m dead, maybe you’ll be the one to finally knock her up. If you can get her pregnant, you’ll be the last one to have sex with her. Wouldn’t that be great?” It’s barbaric.
27 “Last of all the woman died also.”
I wish I could say I’m happy for this woman to finally got some time to herself, but I would assume her peace was often disturbed by idiots like these reminding her of her dilemma.
28 “Therefore, in the resurrection, whose wife of the seven will she be? For they all had her.”
Jesus’ opponents in this debate are alluding to the day of resurrection, to the moment when several men will be together again, in the same location, trying to figure out together, who this woman belongs to. Remember they don’t believe in the resurrection. They believe this is a fictional scenario! They selected this dilemma to trip up Jesus. And as usual, it backfires. “What about all those dead husbands whose wife got passed to their brothers?! What will they do when they all come back from the dead and are face to face with each other and this one woman!? Ha! How could the resurrection be true— who would get the wife! Answer that one!
Before Jesus answered I can picture Jesus either blankly staring back at them with a “seriously?” look on his face. Or looking up to heaven and praying something like “Wow, God they are so dumb” before moving on.
Going back to their “scenario”:
29 “Jesus answered and said to them, “You are mistaken, not knowing the Scriptures nor the power of God.”
Rephrased: “you could find the answer in the scriptures. You clearly just don’t know them. But you clearly don’t know the power of God, either.”
They didn’t know the power of the being right in front of them who would go on to raise the dead in front of their eyes.
30 “For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, …
Said differently, “when the resurrection, is here, no man will be selecting his wife, and no woman is going to be up for bid on the marriage block” STOP. Stop right there. That is all the Lord says. He does not say ‘there will be no marriage (the noun) He doesn’t say that existing marriages will be dissolved or that he won’t recognize them.
He says there will be no marry-ing—the verb, the action. It’s important to note that in that time, there was no courtship. Parents chose whom their son would take and or whom their daughter would be given to. This explains the language that Jesus uses: “no marrying or giving in marriage.”
Jesus also doesn’t say “in Heaven” or “in paradise,” or “after this life.” Jesus is intentionally focusing on the great reunion day. When a wife and husband get their bodies back, when their physical separation is finally over.
On that day, they aren’t figuring out a Moses-caused marriage dilemma:
30 “…but are [instead spending this moment] like angels of God in heaven.”
Rephrased: “on the resurrection day, no one is getting married anyway—okay.” Everyone is going to be busy like angels in heaven—everyone is going to be busy praising God—for keeping his Promise to resurrect humanity.
It’s also important to not read into this verse here because, how much do we know about the marital status of angels? Answer: nothing. The scriptures do not reveal this. We don’t really have a clue what they do in Heaven. Sometimes we get a peak at them praising God in Heaven. Sometimes we get a peak at them out of Heaven, when they are bringing a message from God.
…so don’t try to use this verse to tell me I’ll be like an Angel in Heaven and therefore not married. It’s not logical and there is no supporting evidence.
I could see Jesus saying it more like this in our day : “First of all, no one will be worrying about this on the Resurrection day. Everyone will be too busy joining the angels to sing Hallelujah on that day.”
…and certainly we will be
Note how short that verse is. Jesus is quickly dismissing their non-scriptural, false doctrine scenario. He refuses to let the discussion be distracted by it. He moves right on to the truth that they need to understand: the eternity of the soul. Instead, this is where Jesus starts digging in.
31 “But concerning the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was spoken to you by God, saying,”
32 “‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.”
You are assuming the brother is dead and gone. But God told you He is the God of Abraham, and he is the God Isaac and Jacob. He didn’t say I WAS their God. Because they are still alive! They are still alive, and I am still their God.
When you remember the original question of the Sadducee’s (to whom does this woman belong?) and then apply the truth that the dead are yet alive, Christ can only be implying that their use of the past tense is incorrect. They stated that she was his wife. Is not Christ implying that she still is?
33 “And when the multitudes heard this, they were astonished at His teaching.”
I think modern multitudes would feel that same astonishment if only they would grasp the power of what’s being said here.
He is saying that death is not the end. Man and wife still are.
Matthew 19:4 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.
God does not want us to separate and what God says go.
The resurrection is the good and glorious news of the Gospel. And why is it so good? Because the sting of death is gone. The sting of losing a loved one is gone. The sting of losing your spouse is gone.
Good has promised us reunion. Don’t make the mistake of not “knowing the power of God”
Conclusion
My conclusion at this point is that I don’t know the answer to this question.